"I'd like to shoot your baby, Ma'am".
Said the picture man at my door
And I was quite delighted because
Our baby had never been "shot" before.

I dressed her in the finest clothes
I shined her shoes and brushed her hair
Then tenderly I propped her up
In Daddy's platform rocking chair.

The picture man went into action
I tried to help him make her smile
The look he gave me seemed to say,
"Why don't you just get lost for awhile?"

I know he thought I fussed too much
And just kept getting in his way
I must admit he looked quite beat
When he left my house that day.

Today the picture man came back
To show the pictures he had taken
The memory of what I saw
Still leaves me slightly shaken.

"I'm sure my baby's not that bald -
What did you do with all her hair?
Where did you get that extra chin?
I know there was a dimple there."

The picture man just smiled and said,
"My camera cannot tell a lie -
To photograph what isn't there
I could not - would not - even try.

I think these pictures are quite good
Bald-headed babies are in style
The dimpled chin is hidden
By the great big toothless smile."

Well, I bought some of the pictures
For my relatives and friends
Now I'd like to ask a question
Before this picture story ends.

Why did that picture man look back
And mumble as he shook his head,
"Sometimes I get the awful urge
To shoot the mother instead."