'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Except one miserable louse.

The stores were all closed
Christmas shoppers all done
But this one poor fellow
Who had never begun.

He'd meant to go shopping
Each day he planned to start
To buy gifts for the lady
Who had captured his heart.

Oh, what a miserable
Creature was he
As he paced back and forth
Past the Christmas tree.

There were gaily wrapped presents
From all in the house
Except - yes, you guessed it
Except from the louse.

But the stores get so crowded
The clerks are so busy
And all the confusion
Just makes him quite dizzy.

If he just knew of someone
Who'd make some suggestions
And not nag him and ask him
Embarrassing questions.

Won't someone please help him
His shopping to do?
Yes, we've found the answer
We'll even tell YOU!