The Devilish Truth
The Devil called a meeting and the imps came filing in
A puzzled look had now replaced each usual impish grin.
For the Devil was pacing back and forth across the room
The expression he was wearing was one of utter gloom.
"There's a revival going on", he thundered, "up there in Lorain.
That Brother Schunk is at his pulpit - poundin'-preachin' again.
You know the line he gives them and scares them half to death
'Til they go running down the aisles all out of breath.
Where were you imps, when weeks ago, their pastor started raving
About the great revival that Lorain would soon be having?
He even set up prayer meetings in folks homes every day
Come on, speak up, you useless imps! What have you got to say?"
So Number One stepped forward and with faltering voice replied,
"I'm sure you won't believe me, sir, how very hard we tried
But when a whole church-full of people start praying every day
We can't get them to listen to anything we say."
"Enough of that!", the Devil cried, "I'll hear no more from you!
Where's my Inventor of Good Excuses?" And out stepped Number Two.
"Well, sir, they made out lists of folks we thought belonged to us
They called them up and visited and made an awful fuss.
I've worked out some pretty good excuses but I can't seem to get thru
With all that visiting and praying I just don't know what else to do."
"Get lost!", the Devil shouted. "You're of no further use to me.
Now if you'll all be quiet, we'll hear a report from Number Three."
"I've attended every service", Three bragged "and my poor old ears are ringing
That songleader they have up there sure gets those people singing.
The evangelist starts warning folks that they are bound for Hell
You'd almost think he'd been here; he knows the place so well.
Then all at once his face lights up as he tells them there's still hope
If they'll just turn to Jesus before they reach "the end of the rope"
And then he asks them to raise their hands and warns them not to lie
He wants to know if they're sure of reaching Heaven when they die."
And then a kind of wistful look passes across his ageless face;
"They make it sound so wonderful, I'd like to see inside the place."
The impish grin returned then and his voice now stronger grew,
"While we were busy trying, Mister Devil, where were you?"
Now the Devil cringed a little and took a couple paces back
His wise old eyes looked beady and his face fell kind of slack
"I've also been there every night; the songs had no effect on me.
The things he says of Hell are just as true as they can be.
But when he calls the Holy Spirit down and lets Him have control
I know I've lost the battle for at least another soul.
Now all you imps get busy and keep right on your toes!
The people may slow down there when the evangelist goes."